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~The front view~

~In the winter section where the temperature will be around 13 – 15 Celsius (was told by one of the crews there)~

Reminder: Better bring your own cardigan/sweater before you decided to dine in the winter section. It’s freezing!!

~Christmas kind of ambiance in the winter section, not bad~

~This is their menu.. basically the food served there are not too overpriced, considering the fact that you are actually paying for the environment/ambiance you are enjoying~

Personal opinion regarding the food: Overall the food are not bad.. I will go back again but it would much better if they speed up their services.. a bit too slow

~The Spring section where you can see lots of related decorative items are placed there.. this will be my preferable section for my next visit~

~Last but not least, this is the summer section which is located ‘outside’, just next to the entrance.. without the air-conditional.. it really gives you the SUMMER atmosphere~

Hmmm… only 3 sections photos are taken.. what about the autumn section?? Of course I didn’t miss out, it was purely out of my luck the other day as it was closed for renovation.. heard that the cats and dogs rain in the previous day had damaged the glass roof..

ADIOS!! Good night.. phew.. its 4.10am..

My eyes aren’t focusing when I am typing this.. really dead tired after a long day of being partially productive/unproductive… People work in the day but I work at night until 4 – 5 am everyday. Sleep through the whole morning and again, the same routine repeats.. Yeah.. boring lifestyle.. who cares? Kick my butt??

I myself am tired of my lifestyle.. lack of the mood to enjoy whenever I am outside, but when I am at home.. I get those nasty feelings burying in my chest again. Desperately getting it out… Every night before I doze off.. surely there will be uninvited bits of memories battling in my head.. making my heart sinks further.. How long should I bear this feeling anymore??

Ironically, when it comes to my assignment.. I used to have all the confidence in me that I will score well in it because the effort I put in is greater and different from others… but right after the completion of my chapter 1 (final year report) this morning at the wee hour of 5am.. I felt so hopeless… staring at my work feeling so disappointed.. points repeating itself and the structure of the report is darn boring.. in the midst of struggling crapping it.. I was blanked for couple of times and was shocked that why my mind didn’t want to corporate with me anymore? The answer is just so simple.. no matter how well is your physical body, but having corrupted and disturbed mind would bring your both physical and mental down… argh.. urging myself stop being a psychotic that will ruin my remaining days in my University life!!

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Wow… finally….!!!! I came to this restaurant and experienced the ambience there!!! And also, at last I found the place after several attempts (sweat betul la)… just around the carrefour area which is quite hidden.. It’s being said as a corner lot.. well, nt actually a corner lot to be exact… just .. maybe a special kind of corner lot? Aiks.. dont know how to explain T.T ..

BTW, will update bout it later because its 4.30am nw… tired crazy… sigh… ive to let go my beloved n85 to save money for my study purposes… who can donate to me??? I’m so broke la!!

Whoa, waking up one hour earlier to gain last minute knowledge from my notes!! Hehehe… this is me, always like the last minute pressure so that there’s the force to push me to be serious. Dont know why am I like that since I was young… but hopefully i wont study last minute again for IDD for the finals as it has SO MUCH to study… from notes t0 books, from books to journals and from journals to references… whoa, ms phoebe has been giving out alot of extra notes, hoping us to know all of them.. which we are afraid will be out for the finals.. she did mention that no more defining and memorizing required in the finals, its more of an application question where you required to think your butt out to answer the questions!!!

BTW, what am I doing here writing craps whereas I should be revising!!! Resit midterm is at 10am @.@ and my class would be from 2 – 5.30pm.. would be so tired man~~~~~ kill me T.T

Almost for 2 weeks I didnt attend classes… nw having to think that tmr i’l step into my University again brings me down.. I’m not sure why.. maybe i’ve still very overwhelmed with things that happened to me this month.. 3 huge destructive waves… or maybe one of them is abit constructive one.. it hit me very very hard.. that i keep questioning myself.. why on earth is there such thing could happen in this way?? Unsolved and hang daggling here.. the words and scenes.. are stil so vivid in my mind nw…

Anyhow, HSG (His Sanctuary of Glory) might be the church i’l be attending on every sunday… not used to getting up so early on sundays but guess this is what i will have to do in order to ‘move on’ with my life.. and throw away part of memories that i dont want!!!! And I’m in search for a suitable cell group for me.. yeah, i’l be totally cutting off all the things that have got to do with me and her.. maybe for certain period only.. coz i need time to HEAL and RECOVER as well..going into a church to where anyone will constantly ask or remind me about her its nt a good feeling at all!! Some might think i’m avoding and escaping from facing the problem strongly.. but i do believe that this is another way to help myself to move on with my life… it’s not at all easy to ‘face’ the situation as it’s being written and typed out here.. so, sorry GEPC.. i’ve learnt alot from there and met many amazing people there… especially those friendly pastors… but i guess this is part of God’s plan for me to move forward… anyhw, i stil hope to keep in touch with a few of my fellas bro/sis from there..

sighz.. really dont know what’s in store for me…..

I cant sleep!! I really cant!! I tried many many ways of trying to get to sleep methods but still failed.. alot of things have been bothering my mind alot.. its almost 5am now, i am still wide awake… thinking how pathetic is my life.. why is that very person holds such important place in my heart that created such a huge impact to me once the person is gone??? I felt as if my world stops evolving.. i mean, nt that serious but suddenly a person who hears u, advises u and knows yr thoughts just disappeared out of sudden.. I just dont know who to tell my feelings/problems to nw…. friends i have many but i cant bring myself to share my feelings to… i feel its very fake just to ‘use’ them for temporary relief..

Everyone asked me, what’s going on?? Even my parents who dont seem to care much about the person asked me so much what’s exactly going on.. what can i say?? I always have to stay positive and cheerful to them.. they see me as a very strong person but do they know i’m crying inside? I need someone to share my feelings to? I did try but my mum said i’m silly to feel such way.. I wanted to dump everything behind and go somewhere far to free my mind, but i know it wouldnt help at all because i’m running away from the unsettled problems.. which will haunt me no matter where i go.. conclusion is.. i wont be happy if the problem persists..

I really need to know.. am i such a bad person? What is really happening to my life?????

grandpa's memory
It’s such a grief that I lost two of my beloved grandpas within a week! It all happened so fast… real fast that I felt like this month passes extremely slow.. its exhausting and saddening.. i was in shocked that i couldn’t shed more tears.. all I could do was to pray as much and as hard as I could for them.. praying and pleading to uphold them into God’s precious hands.. I miss both of them greatly nw.. at the same time, this is what i’ve learnt.. ” must treasure the people around you before you feel regret when they’re no longer beside you “  God bless you kung kung and ah kong :) Hugz.. love ya all alot and forever you’l be in my heart :)

June, 2009 will be a month that I will never ever forget in my entire life… 2 important people in my life left me, one after another one… The first person who left me in such a surprise, i dont want to mention anymore.. as long as she got her own life, happy and blessed and I am contented but with my favorite grandpa, who had taken care of me since i was just a baby girl until before i was 14… had also left me and my family on the 16th of June 2009… which was a total surprise and no one expected it to happen.. Many had dreamt that my grandma came to take him with her.. that included my grandpa he, himself who told my maid weeks ago.. before his 80th birthday.. he told her that.. after my birthday.. i won’t be here for long..at most 1 month.. and see how it happened so fast… with him falling down last thursday.. just last week.. he fell down.. admitted to Sentosa Hospital Centre… went over to visit him on last friday.. he was still kicking alive… joked with all of us.. smiling there, praising how good the porridge tasted and all.. and even so called ‘fooling’ around with the nurses and doctors… from there, detected he has an irregular heartbeat that raised up to 150++ and even higher.. 1st time encountered seizure because of his heart.. his eye balls rolled up and we were all so panicked… from there, transferred to sri kota in klang, which is a private hospital… went into CCU for observation for two nights.. in the end, noticed that his heart stopped beating for 5-6 seconds at night while he was sleeping.. sighzzzzz

Then the doctors frm there, said he needed a pacemaker to regulate the heartbeat.. and its better to have the insertion of pacemaker in IJN .. but because of finacial issues.. he was transferred to HKL in order to admit to IJN with the pacemaker operation which will cost about 20K.. in HKL, he was stil very much alive, talking and everything.. was pleading for food to fill his stomach somemore.. everything was perfectly alright except for his heart… due to the financial issue again, he was transffered to Serdang Hospital instead of IJN as serdang hospital was specialize in Cardio.. and so, this tuesday he had a successful insertion of pacemaker and it worked very well.. heartbeat was around 70-80 per minute.. but unfornately, due to his enlarged lungs (smoker)… the surgeon accidently pierced his right lung and caused a tiny hole there.. coz of that.. more tubes are inserted to his body so that it can ease the breathing for him… my aunty told me.. he was very frustrated and agitated.. summored to take him home, and that he wanted to lie down (while he was actually lying down).. or wanted to sleep on a sofa.. sighz.. at then that very evening.. just right after my dinner… a phonecall to my mum and urged us to the hospital… i was praying so hard ntg will happen.. but unfortunately.. i believed everything is destined.. and it’s time for him to go… but i stil couldnt accept the fact that.. everything happened so fast.. one minute before the operation.. he was joking with the surgeons/nurses.. and the other minute.. he left us…

There goes the same thing that happened to the first person i mentioned who is so dear to me in my life.. one week b4.. so closed.. and then the next thing, suddenly i dont know her anymore.. things happened in an ironic and funny way.. how i feel about it?? I’m SO NUMB!!! I cant shed tears anymore.. nt because i cried enough but there are too much of feelings to pour out.. nt enuf of tears..

but i need someone………… Lord, i din run away from You.. i stil love u as I alw had.. just things happened so suddenly.. and I know this is Your plans.. i need time.. and God.. plz plz plz forgive my sins as I had to go thru the funeral service…

Kung kung.. i will always love you so much… thank u for taking good care and loved me very much… but i truly regretted tat i didnt put effort to spend more time with u while u were staying in our house… i just walked in and out of the hse.. i felt so baddddddd… forgive me kung kung.. i pray that you and poh poh wil be ‘honey moon-ing’ nw.. :) happy happy together.. hugzzz… love u kung kung and poh poh.. will miss u so much.. sob sob

For those who knew what happened recently, just want to say that i am copping well here, trying my best. Need not to worry but I do need sometime to get away from those things that have got to do with us. Hope that I dont have to take so long. Thanks for all you guys concern. Take care and God bless

Feeling miserable and empty writing this post here doesn’t seem to make me feel any better. Rest??? Can rest really make one feels better and energetic in everything him/her do? Today’s already saturday and i’ve been slacking and rested for 3 days to be exact despite I was really sick since thursday.. I’ was just lazing around and not doing anything eventhough i’ve like 5 submissions next week with one vital submission which is the draft proposal which was requested by Mr Ting..

I was feeling so stupid and feeling like an idiot when I met him last thursday… the things that he told me and the things that I thought i knew about my title were so different that my heart began to sink deeply…. just wanted to break down and cry at the moment, telling him that i really dont know how and what to do.. but i know its hopeless and useless to do that.. so i just kept quiet, dragged my feet and tried to pass my every second.. which seems eternity at home… feeling so heavy at chest.. wanted to cry it out but couldnt.. in the end i travalled around to find peace to pass time faster… since thursday i wasn’t at home… nw sitting next to my cousin brother.. yeah, im in klang nw… didn’t make me feel any better at all… instead more guilts pilling up as i know i hav to rush all my assignments once i get home tonight.. which i dun intend to touch it again but i hav to!!

I feel like im escaping from something.. but i dont know what… so many things filled up my head and heart.. i cant breathe and at night i couldnt sleep soundly.. everything around me is driving me mad… i feel sorry for those people who are so concerned about me and i thank those people who love and care for me so much.. but can i tell them, i cant take it anymore??? I just want to do the things i like to do but i dont know why! It’s so funny and ironic!!!!!!